.jisko dekh kar mein ghabra gai or hilny lagi……..or meiny aik hi jhatky mein zoor sa uski choot or gand sa wo nokila lun nikal dia……..or wo ta...ap uthi or is sa pehly ka dono surakh randi ka bund hoty apna lun daal dia pehly choot mein or phir gand mein…………bari bari……….uski gand ka sara gund mery lun ko lag gaya……Sali harami ki ulaad, randi tu ny mery lun ko gunda kar dia or phir meiny wohi lun waisa hi uska muon mein daal dia……..or jab tak dobara chamak nahi gaya bahir nahi nikala……….wo ab. We both laughed about that and hugged for a bit. Itold Michelle about my father's letter and she hugged me even closer. Weslept together again. Imagine me in a respectable ballet length nightgownand Michelle in her wedding lingerie. She told me she wanted me to see itand I didn't argue. Michelle told me she just hated to sleep alone andshe hoped I didn't mind her coming over uninvited. I said of course not,and I enjoyed her company and her warmth and comfort. It was nice to haveher there. For once Beth didn't tease me as we talked about the difficulties we had. She was in minority to the power of two: Lesbian and black - and still she was one of the most positive people I knew. Then she asked about the problems we had at school. She remembered all too well what it was to be in high school, with your reputation ruined. I told her about our little group and the fact that I was feared so much that nobody would dare to cause us any real trouble at this moment.The Thanksgiving. Let him rest. Find your own happiness.MattI remembered sitting in a quiet room in that giant hospital typing those words ... my soul blackened by its recent brush with death, I had no room for forgiveness or kind words. Somehow I just wanted to communicate the pain I was feeling.I looked at the letter. I wished Jessica had burned it. It was a eulogy for Matt O'Connell and for the love we once shared. It seemed so long ago.Suddenly I felt tired. It was as if the weariness in my bones from all.
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